READMEFIRST.dox

Thank You for Dying

You have selected the Read Me First companion file. Congratulations, you have reached your final destination; the dwelling place of your eternity. Before we can begin, we must first determine your spiritual placement. Below, we have assessed your eternal placement by name, date, and location of birth, in The Book of Life. The cross-reference tool failed to find your name in the Book of Life.


What This Means

Unfortunately, the fact of the matter is rather straightforward. All entrants to the eternal dwelling place of Heaven must first be listed in the Book of Life. Failing to find your name has resulted in the immediate termination of your Heavenly encounter. Your final dwelling place has been determined. You have selected eternal Hell and damnation. You will soon be escorted to the underworld for proper placement. Lucifer and his agents will be in contact with you from there.

Good Luck

We thank you for your life and your patience, despite your otherwise troubling outcome. We wish you the best of luck and a happy eternity!

Sincerely,
St. Peter